Ego Death

by Djohn Doe Dies

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    This download is for the song Ego Death from the album The Obliteration of The Self by Djohn Doe Dies. Thanks for taking the time to check this out.

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about

This song is off my next album, Obliteration of The Self. Check out the full song accompanied by lyrics here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Moh6qSAb_3c

The lyrics were written during some recent turmoil in my life that made things truly unbearable for me, but I am almost through this awful time. The album to come has music on it that I've been working on for almost five years now and it is a very personal and emotional journey that I have captured. In the scope of the album, this song is early on, sort of the beginning of the end, the first step into a real deprivation. However, this is by no means an accurate measure of this album as it has many unique elements throughout. Obliteration of The Self has many other aspects that I am truly excited to show the world, for I have attempted to embed purposeful and nuanced experiences of life on my own and the things I have discovered within myself to hopefully give others an insight that may help them. With this said, I do know this song in particular is very hurtful toward some, but It is how I felt and truly I am releasing this out of vanity and spite, parts of me that I am often in control of and I could justify the negativity of this work as a controlled release of these feelings but I know deep down I just crave to be petty.

lyrics

You fucking ruined me
After you left me alone
Subtracting with malice
And victimising yourself

I wanted happiness with you
It wasn't out of our reach
But you refused to help yourself
Look where this has put you and me

Before I was scarred at the core
And you made me able to sleep
But now I close my eyes
And I can't bare what I see

Half a decade ago I noticed you
Something different, a likeness to
Someone I saw into
With my heart I wanted to complete you

I'm sleeping every thirty hours now
And I'm blacking out in between
Your siting with our children
Deceptions fucking queen

I want to burn your bridges
It'll be an easy thing to do
You left with me proof of your
Hatred to everyone we knew

You wanted to hurt me all along
Are you fucking proud of yourself
I'm eating less and less these days
Cause I'm fucking breaking down

I bet your parents love the fact
They were right all along
Those cynical close minded humans
They would love the fuck out of this song

No means or an end,
Just a desire to hate
You choose this over me
You took the fucking bait

My heart was blackened by violence
And you choose to fucking join them
You attempted to strike my face
No matter what I said how could you do that

I've been hurt before in so many ways
I've wanted to kill myself for so long
You were meant to help me out of this
Not become a waste of my heart

You promised forever and ever
But never held your end of the deal
I just wanted you to want me
And to help you with a cure

But you took my efforts and twisted me
You held my throat making it
Hard to breathe wanting to be
Free from your smothering

But now I'm fucking emptiness
My sadistic tendencies returning to me
Chocking all my chances at
Moving on to something else that's

Better than that fucking wreck
Our relationship, if you can call it that
When all you did was hate my friends
And bitch about how I'm ruining it

But what about the lies you said
That I had to fucking repeat
To those who I loved the most
To the family I never had

Uncomfortable with our mutual friends
I have to fucking start again
By my heart is leather and cold now
And I can't seem to make amends

Shallow interactions
Is all I've become
My problems have started consuming me
Faster than I can keep up

credits

released December 30, 2016

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about

Djohn Doe Dies Auckland, New Zealand

This is the bandcamp page for Djohn Doe Dies. My name is Jacob and I write and record all the music here, with help from others. If you would like to contact me, please visit the Djohn Doe Dies facebook page. I will reply to things there.

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